It's taking everything I can not to say the words I hate you
My heart is sick I feel Like a fool so when I say I hate you I am really hating myself
I was vulnerable this week with you and I should have been strong
I wish I was on vacation and not sitting here thinking of you or what I thought we could be
Your eyes had no love in them for me yesterday
That's not the last look I want to remember but maybe that was Gods way of letting me know what this really was
Nothing
A lesson learned my heart is burned I'm. Scorched to ashes in my soul
I hate myself for loving you
Such a big mistake this pain feels like more than I can carry right now
I feel destroyed and sickened
I hate me therefore I hate you because you are the part of me which shows my weakness
I want to die right now
But this too shall pass
Maybe you don't live inside of me because if you did you would feel all of this and would come to save me
You never intended to then now or ever
I guess real love would wish you the best and so I'll lie to you
I want you to be happy even if it's not with me but that's all a lie because right now I want you to feel the suffering I'm enduring right now
But you are with the one you chose your life is well on the way to greatness love surrounds you and in time I will be ok and be happy I pray