Are we poetry written by the hands of god or are we a novel with a climax with a tragic ending?

Jealousy isn't a pleasant quality, but if it isn't overdone (and if it's combined with modesty), apart from its inconvenience there's even something touching about it.”
― Milan Kundera, Laughable Loves

“A person shows signs of clutching on too fast, of being needy, of not hearing the word "no," of jealousy, of guarding you and your freedom. But the signs can be so small they skitter right past you. Sometimes they dance past, looking satiny, something you should applaud. Someone's jealousy can make you feel good. Special. But it's not even about you. It's about a hand that is already gripping. It's about their need, circling around your throat”
― Deb Caletti, Stay

 

Need

I need you like the forest needs rain

I need you like flowers need bees

I need you like grass needs the sun

to grow and flourish      

Ocean Dreams

I see the wet sand as the ocean crashes upon the shore
And I see you and I with our pants rolled up, walking hand in hand, toes in the sand and I feel the tears well up in my eyes - with serenity, beyond happiness, of the years I have longed for this moment.
I envision us together....Twinsouls, intertwined thread by thread, vein by vein.
Purest, absolute, infinte love that surrounds galaxies and the universe, time after time, moment after moment, neverending love.
Powerful.
I choose today to love you with no expectation but for the pure joy loving you gives me.

Love Like Poetry

you said something so true - when you looked at me with heart shaped eyes.you said "ts like poetry" and you know what - it is.
our life together is an array of poetic creations, of signs and arrows pointing us in the direction of love
Ultimate love - absolute love - love beyond words and infinite is not even close to the description we carry with in.
Our hearts intertwine again as they have lifetimes ago - and we fit togeher like  best friend necklaces - hearts put back together - in a chaos so perfect for our yearning souls to feel alive again and we embrace it because we know, we feel it...the truth beyond our bodies embrace...it is the truth spoken in the gaze of our eyes that see beyond whats in front of us - but into the depths of the souls embrace we feel together. Divine energy pure and written as it should be.

“Life sometimes separates people so that they can realize how much they mean to each other.”

A love you can feel in your marrow
So deep that when a song comes on you know it was written for you - by you - in your infinite feelings to the artists strings
I keep closing my eyes and feel you enter me - soulfully, p

Could you be the one bringing me back to my "personal legend" reminding me of my dreams?
I write more than I have in years - probably eight years and now the words flow from me and I am releasing all this emotion that I have been afraid of feeling again....Love deep love - the thing that I have always known to be really the only important thing on earth in the universe - LOVE
Love that really does can and will conquer all - and above all - as you say Reign Supreme.

You have come back to my life - to bring me back to life and for that I thank you and will always love you!

Paulo Coelho the Greatest Author -- Some of my Favorite Quotes:

"The one law that should never be broken is manipulating the free will of others"

"Finding one Important thing in your life doesn't mean you have to give up all the other important things".

"We can so easily flee from everything that we desire and which life so generously places before us. Alternatively we can surrender ourselves to Divine Providence, take Gods hand, and fight for our dreams, believing that they always arrive at the right moment."

“Freedom continues to be the thing I prize most in the world. Of course, this has led me to drink wines I did not like, to do things I should not have done and which I will not do again; it has left scars on my body and on my soul, it has meant hurting certain people, although I have since asked their forgiveness, when I realized that I could do absolutely anything except force another person to follow me in my madness, in my lust for life. I don’t regret the painful times; I bear my scars like medals. I know that freedom has a high price, as high as that of slavery; the only difference is that you pay with pleasure and a smile, even when that smile is dimmed by tears.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

“My Heart Is Afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

“Why do we have to listen to our hearts?” the boy asked, when they had made camp that day.
“Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.”
“But my heart is agitated,” the boy said. “It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it’s become passionate over a woman of the dessert. It asks things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights when I’m thinking about her.”
“Well, that’s good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

“We have been moving along at such a fast pace that we no longer know what we are doing. Now we have to wait until our soul catches up with us.”

― Paulo Coelho, Maktub

“Only two things can reveal life's great secrets: suffering and love.”
― Paulo Coelho, Aleph

“And they will return one day knowing the miracle of the heavens and of all the world. God knew what he was doing when he drew their attention to the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. If he hadn’t wanted them to eat it, he would never have mentioned it.”
― Paulo Coelho, Brida

“And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free.”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

“Life sometimes separates people so that they can realize how much they mean to each other.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Winner Stands Alone

I think that perhaps we always fall in love the very first time we see the man of our dreams, even though, at the time, reason may be telling otherwise, and we may fight against that instinct, hoping against hope that we won't win, until there comes a point when we allow ourselves to be vanquished by our feelings...”
― Paulo Coelho

Souls Awakening

A love affair
Began years ago - probably lifetimes ago
Embers inside the core of our being burn on inside our soul
Like a campfire waiting to be poked  to wake up the flames
You walked into my life again and awoke my heart and fires rage with passion and love that run deep
My name is safe in your mouth
My body warms with a simple touch of your hand
You have awoken my soul - again - thank you my love
And may we dance within the flames together for lifetimes to come

Fireworks

Hours without hearing from you -- is time that is not my friend
The time I am in your arms - is when time is my greatest love
Waiting to see your name across my phone
I miss you -- deeply miss you - to the core of my being I long to be near you
Your energy colliding with mine is of the divine and beyond words

"We are doing this backwards"
You think?
All backwards....all of it...we are?
It's truly confusion...we need to really look at this life we are heading into.
Do you want to walk with me in life?
The distraction of our current beings keeping busy keeps us content....but in your arms simply being...I find a place of peace and solitude - how can that be wrong?
There was a saying I heard once "we are human beings not human doings" it seems the only way I have been simply surviving this current life I lead is doing - doing - doing everything but loving as I would hope we should be when you choose to marry?
hmmmmmmmmmmmm
on my own I need to think about it...
The walls rise and fall hour to hour minute to minute kiss to kiss call to call

No End

No End
I ask myself what just happened
What was that all about, the motions, emotions, convictions and inflictions that just occurred on my soul?
You use me mentally, physically and emotionally
I come home with a headfull of you
Why I wanna cry
How can you drop me off and expect me to be completely sane
My heart my soul my brain
are so severely twisted I cant see right from left
I am here just feeling whats left
Thanks for the screw, heartache the pain
You have turned my sanity to crazy insane
My body hurts
My heart is in two
My soul is twisted
All around you
Where'd you go
Leave me a stray
You come in like love
But only betray
I've done it before
You'll do it again
You keep on hurting me
And call me a friend
"I love you,
my first love,
my only love
my true love"
Yet you break me
Fake me
Dont even sake my emotion
You pretend there is devotion
Its all mixed emotions
I'll cry again
You'll lie again
And I'll try again
There is no end

JASON

Just
A memory
Somewhere barried under ground
On a cloud
No where to be found

1998

Numb

Numb
I fake my way
through each day
Each time that passes and all to come
I will smile a smile so nobody knows
that deep in my soul
Heartach grows
Each tear that I cry
I will laugh them down
Each scream that echoes
will not make a sound
I will fake my way through each day to come
So I can stay numb

Disasterous Ending

Emotions shallow, empty, dilute
My heart is broken, cold and mute
My mind feels deep, sincere and true
But my heart is broken because of you.

Disasterous Ending


1998

In Two

In Two
Torn in two
into
my past
the present
Memories have me trapped
The present has me torn
I move forward only to see the past
in front of me.
I sit comfortably in the present
and feel the past haunting me
Torn by two
In two directions
Guilt stricken because I cannot forget
Stuck in the present
because I have regret
Only to see that my future is ahead
of me
But I cannot escape my past
or even ove through the present
In two
Into directions

19980223

Ash

Ashes
You burnt me to ashes
There is no remains worth gathering
I am but empty
There is no heart left
Faith melted
Love scorched
I am burnt beyond all imagination
Black
I cannot find a seed to grow for you
again
I gave you my all...you used it al
There are no roots with in
No remorse, no guilt, you got off free
I am left empty

97

Patience

Be patient wait for the universe to give me the answers....

A wise man once said: When you find your soulmate...when you look in their eyes you will see the many generations the two of you will share.

1998

Remembering

I remember...
the taps on my window
that had me in flight,
Seeing your face, feeling
speechless.
The butterflies that fluttered in my stomach,
each time the phone rang.

I remember...
the endless talks
that made each day better,
the excitement I felt each time
I was next to you.

The tears of joy that kissed my soul.

I remember...
when you'd call in sick to work
and pick me up in front of
school,
We'd spend hours holding each other
nothing else mattered.

I remember...
our little pet names
"my funnay hunnay"
"My little...my little punkin"

a touch worth a thousand
words.

I remeber being
completely
in love.

The forgetting is difficult,
the
remembering
worse.

199804

Escape

So much time slipped through the palm of my hand
All I've known for the years I've grown
Now I have transferred all to my mind
In another town another time
I escaped it all for one feeling....you
I grew through you, in you, for you
Now I travel alone to find my special throne
Where I can be me with no self pity
Away from my fall, my broken being
With my mind open and new things seeing
I left for you
I left because of you
I never could fully be what I am meant to be with your presence surrounding me
You are my only weakness
That I pray vanishes from my soul

980504

I deserve to be loved by someone who doesnt need to be convinced.
I am love
I am everything
Everything that was good is gone
Yet what was once good will be better with another
I refuse to let you rent a space in my mind anymore
I loved
I lost
Became obsessed
Now I have seen the light
It was you that changed your heart
And I can't fight to bring it back anymore
The wall is there and I will not even try anymore to climb over it.
Its not me you have a problem with
You have a problem with the world

19980420

Staring at my phone again and I cry cause your not here. Lying in my head again I know that it's not fair. Take your put your hand insi

He lives in you - he lives in me,
He is more alive when we are together....
Remember the crazy in him....remember that crazy is us - together.
We loved the crazy, the highs the lows the tsunami of waves that we endured in the love we have had
Our immortal love is heightened in us - what we are - is it us that love one another or us that love him that lives inside our souls forever?

 SHATTERED
The mirror shattered on the floor as a metaphor for my heart and soul - as you walked out of my life.
Telling me that if our love is really the ultimate that we would be able to repair the shattered pieces upon our souls reunion.
To think that it has been twelve years since either of us has ever felt such a pang in our heart, that we vomit with the mere thought of this occurring again.
Is this pandoras box or is this the souls awakening which is purging all the sickness that we have been carrying inside until this day we meet to heal?
Whatever is going on, is painful...but I know you cannot have rainbows without rain...and to know real love is to experience pain.
We can stay where we are with the security of knowing what each day will bring... knowing the life we have built should stand the test of time...or jump on the crazy train to travel Europe and explore things we never knew existed....with many surprises in store.

We know we have the ultimate in each other ....no doubt.
But remember with this ultimate, there are really twisted places we may travel...because we are venturing with raw emotions, and when you feel it - things can spriral around and around like a ferris wheel...but then again - who doesn't enjoy a carnival?
Somewhere in this twisted shattered heart I am happy to know that you love me so much it hurts.
My definition of love long ago perceived to me - is that love hurts...and somehow my masochistic self believes this is love...but is it???
Is it????

I created this space for you to see into me for those days when you cannot really feel my souls space intertwining with yours.
This place where I wonder if you come to your life with me....as if you are laying in the shade of a beautiful tree in the park with my head resting my head against your heart.
My thoughts today waivered and tried to be less selfish allowing you your space to ponder what you truly want and allowing me to discover what we really are.
All I know is I miss you like crazy fuck!!

Fight Against Vulnerability

You turn from me and tell me you have to leave
And my tongue lashes out like a recently sharpened saber and I stab into your weary heart
As the blood drips off of the tip of the blade I lick it off to taste your pain
I know your pain , I feel your pain,  because everytime you leave... I feel the same

I look back with glazed eyes and only can see the walls in front of me...your face there is no trace
I did it again, my ego threw up these walls instead of showing the vulnerable state I slid into - as you said you had to go
My heart withered up like a grape in the desert sun and I felt this hollowing in my stomach as I felt like throwing up your words...and rebuke them from being my reality.

The good byes are harder and the distance away becomes my demise
So I defend against the sadness with evil ways as to never feel so vulnerable again

The day we met a part of my heart opened like the sun shining through the clouds after a rainy day
The rays of light shine through the holes that were left behind from years of punctured promises

That feeling of warmth is one that I want to smother and keep all to myself as my own secret shelter for no one to see....and when you leave I know you are not mine, not mine alone and I cry.

Disenchanted

The disenchantment arose amongst the deception that he insisted I provide rather than the freedom he loved in me at a time.
A time when there were no boundaries of where the love would take us.
The deception has spiraled downward to a rabbit hole that is in a billion particles that can never be put back together to repair the cells in our souls.
My soul has become darkened by allowing me to be something I am not.
I have no way of continuing on this path of deception because when I am deceiving, I am deceiving everyone around me and especially the soul in me....and there is nothing but an illusion of what is untrue.
I want to live in truth - good, bad, dark or light...the truth of purpose and being and in being I can grow and serve the way I know I am meant to on this earth, in this journey called life.

I am smitten and smile all day thinking of you---how you can ignite such an emotion of love.

You are sooooo charming - I am pretty sure that one day you were a frog kissed by a princess.
The droplets of love that roll off of your tongue in array of alphabetic creations, melt me to the core.

Dont make me love you for some twisted ego trip - to make you feel good.

Make your words true from your soul and not something you are saying in order to feed my soul just to serve your own...because you know I love you know I will love you back more and more.
I remember when we met that fateful Friday...and you said that I filled your heart and soul....because I am a giver....please dont take what you cant give back...because my heart cannot bear anymore scars...my heart needs the purest of loves true and passionate and I need to know that all you share is your ultimate truth.

:)

I asked for passion - wow what a whirlwind it has been 20 days and counting and I still can't see what is in my sight.
It was a tornado of dust and the past whirled into oblivion.... and the path is a little murky from here.
I see the goal in sight and it is you and I hand in hand, leaving the dusty road behind...but the path to that place is rocky and I am unsure of which transportation to take to get there.
I see you running in circles and baffled by the storm and I just want to hold you and let you know that love willl guide us in faith.
We met again for some reason and it would be foolish to pass this off as a chance encounter.
My patience is the size of a baby flea and I need you to reassure me that its worth the wait and the road will be ours to travel together.
I fear and fear is darkness, love is light and I need love to light this darkness, because these fears are just a figment of my imagination.
I need to push the fear away and let your light shine in me during the doubt.

Highs are high

Lows are low

-----let the journey begin to find our true happiness........................I love you!

Highs are high
Lows are low
Is this what it takes for our love to grow?

Is this truly what we are wanting
This pain inside is more than daunting
To the core of our souls, this ache & need
We can't focus or be "normal" and our hearts just bleed

But....together again we soar to the skies
Above the others and no more lies
Our souls connect and unite as one
A feeling of peace we become

Is it worth it? Or better to live without this passion
Live in a state of existence barely laughin
I am not sure yet - I know I feel alive again
But when you leave I die again

More to me than you see....
I am a mother, a lover, a friend...a person that sometimes plays pretend.
I pretend that I am free and only have to answer to me...but oh how untrue that statement is.
I have obligations and moments that allow me no room for my own selfish desires.

I long to share my moments with you - my thoughts with you
Random, dark and light
Every song that reminds me of everything then and now and our future
To dance and or lay with you in the moments of my emotions brought about by the music that plays on the radio...and how I love your smiling face.

They say I am a dreamer
But those that do not dream limit their possibilities
We can only soar as high as we believe we can reach and I have faith that in the storm and winds I am reaching great heights
A place that is perfect for my souls purpose...and one day we will all understand our purpose is to love in light grow in love and serve in love and our souls will live on eternally.