The days can be so long, when I am longing.
My nights can be so long when I cant sleep.
My dreams are unreachable and yet I still imagine that somehow I can make it happen.
How twisted my mind becomes, when I am consumed by my imagination.
How twisted I feel, for imagining what I imagine.
How twisted I can be when I want what I want.
I ponder many things, many dreams, many situations, and different outcomes.
Sliding doors, fate versus choice, destiny against determination.
Imagination.....dreams, delusion, trance, visions....back to reality.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The Want
I look into my sons eyes and tell him no, you cant have that...it is dangerous
Oh how persistent he is, and I ponder, is it our animalistic instinct to want what we cant have
What is the all consuming power of the forbidden ? To desire, fight and pursue the untouchable
Adam and Eve had it all, beauty, peace, serenity, however the satisfaction could not be met without the apple, the bite of the red delicious enticing apple, and then it was said sin was born
Oh how persistent he is, and I ponder, is it our animalistic instinct to want what we cant have
What is the all consuming power of the forbidden ? To desire, fight and pursue the untouchable
Adam and Eve had it all, beauty, peace, serenity, however the satisfaction could not be met without the apple, the bite of the red delicious enticing apple, and then it was said sin was born
Control
So it begins again
A glance, a look, something to draw me in and today I say...no I will be the one in control
I will deny you as I have been denied internally
You smile and my heart skips a beat and I am in wonderment how I can become so consumed by your eyes
I want to be strong, in charge and not cave into you, your words and aloofness
I want to be in control
My thoughts evade me and I have a one track mind and today I want control to be able to multi-task and forget your presence....so I write
A glance, a look, something to draw me in and today I say...no I will be the one in control
I will deny you as I have been denied internally
You smile and my heart skips a beat and I am in wonderment how I can become so consumed by your eyes
I want to be strong, in charge and not cave into you, your words and aloofness
I want to be in control
My thoughts evade me and I have a one track mind and today I want control to be able to multi-task and forget your presence....so I write
Monday, November 22, 2010
Fire with Fire
Bridges have been smoldering from a fire long ago
Honestly the water is drying out so slow
The only way to end this, is start a burning flame
Because we know no matter what it will never be the same
Kill fire with fire, Take liar for liar
Take word as stone, and we will live in separate homes
Apologies are like sand and they were blown by your wind
I will live and sorrow as you sit and grin
Family ties are broken and nothing can be saved
But know that I tried with all that I gave
Honestly the water is drying out so slow
The only way to end this, is start a burning flame
Because we know no matter what it will never be the same
Kill fire with fire, Take liar for liar
Take word as stone, and we will live in separate homes
Apologies are like sand and they were blown by your wind
I will live and sorrow as you sit and grin
Family ties are broken and nothing can be saved
But know that I tried with all that I gave
A Place to Be Free
20101122
This is my first blog, a place to be free. I use to write constantly, to allow my soul room to breathe to be free. A place in my notebooks where my words were releasing any part that needed to be free from guilt, love, sadness, hurt or any emotion that I may have had to release. I am now in a place where I don't have much privacy, a married woman with a child and rarely time to feel freely without thinking of what is next on my to do....list my agenda. Today is the beginning of a place to be free. A place where my thoughts can roam, randomly, structured or however it may be....at last at last a place to be free.
This is my first blog, a place to be free. I use to write constantly, to allow my soul room to breathe to be free. A place in my notebooks where my words were releasing any part that needed to be free from guilt, love, sadness, hurt or any emotion that I may have had to release. I am now in a place where I don't have much privacy, a married woman with a child and rarely time to feel freely without thinking of what is next on my to do....list my agenda. Today is the beginning of a place to be free. A place where my thoughts can roam, randomly, structured or however it may be....at last at last a place to be free.
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