This Life

I cling to u like u are my last breath of oxygen ...  Little inhales and one big one to take you all in.

Like an anaconda, I slither to your feet and slowly wrap around you calves to your thighs stomach and to my destination your heart

And I squeeze and squeeze and realize I only do that because we have to make it right this time, this life

I let go I trust you and know your heart is mine as it always has been lifetimes ago

We have to get it right this time

Otherwise we will play like this dancing flame until ... When?

I will dance with you in the fire..but I think we need to get it right this time

Who has the answers?

I travel down this weary road but have faith someone pointed this way to you?

For what though?

Our lives were ok before we held hands and the minute your fingers intertwined with mine was the day our souls remembered everything.

But my mind, I still  don't know

My heart and soul knows you innately, intimately like you and I are written in the same book and see each other’s pages

We are all that we are this life let's …

because it is written….. Make it happen

Vulnerability

I'd like to say it was you that broke my heart but really it is I that allowed it to open which causes vulnerability, weakness and it tore when you said good bye.

I believe my heart has been safe for many years and maybe a little under lock and key possibly chained by previous break ins and I was put in protective custody.

Then you walk in out of nowhere with trusting eyes, words so sincere, and a touch that calmed me to the point of complete vulnerability you broke the chains and here I am....

I am trying to piece it back together, trying to pick up the locks, chains and plaster to repair these cracks that continue to leak the blood of my soul slowly out.

Loving fully was a risk I took, the joy of feeling again filled me up, but days like this I  am draining so much the emptiness is unbearable.

Everything Changes

2:00 am Epiphany
They say I am changing...all the sudden I have changed - and I say - doesn't everything?
Do not the trees of the mountains change colors in fall and shed their leaves to grow anew?
Do not the palms of the beach prawns grow and expand with changing tides?
Do not the flowers bloom and feed the bees to die and grow again each season?
Does the grass in your yard never grow or change with seasons and never need to be mowed?
The point is...anything that has life - changes and grows in some way and only the living thing knows why it changes...whether physically or soulfully we are all changing.
At cellular levels we are all changing second by second, minute by minute.
I want to continue to grow and its sad that everyone fears or believes change is bad...its not always bad.
Please stop and see the beauty and learn not to impose your lack of movement on me and my journey.
I choose to follow where the guidance of my heart desires,  above your zombie ways of never really stopping to listen to what yours is saying to you...or rather maybe it stopped talking long ago when you quit listening.

Alternate Universe - Dreams Come True

My heart is breaking into a billion particles. I hope in my quantum physics alternate universe my particles are forming into a happy me next to you.
My dreams of us are so real but then I awake to the reality that dreams do not come true upon awakening .. They come true in the daily existence of growing and learning connecting and journey.
I know I need to love the journey as much as the destination, but the current crucification of my heart is not filling my soul with light.
The nights are lonely without you. The weekends drag on like a slow motion movie filming a snail climb the everglades.
How is it that I could dream a dream of you and you came true but are only an apparition that I can hold in my mind.
How is it that you are touching my soul but not able to hold my hands and kiss my lips

Like trees in the rainforest planted centuries ago – our roots of our souls are intertwined so deep that there is no storm that could pass thru our forest and tear us apart.

How fucked up === my life?
Have I completely destroyed greatness....my life is always changing and I am here in a place of maybe no return...................tear it down to rebuild.

Divine Love

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in love....being in love and feeling happy from the love.
There should be no guilt with the love that is pure and knowing that it is written to walk this life in this happiness.
We build these walls around us and lives and families and such and in that comes some sacrifice...but to sacrifice the divine will that God has for us..to experience life with love and happiness is really the true sacrifice..I wont be a martyr - I believe in true love and love conquers all - true love conquers all and if we aren't experiencing that - we deserve to and should go in search of that beauty ...where God really dwells...in pure Love.
So do not fear that our love was part of our experience to love purely -- I hope you find it - as I believe...
I know that love exists...