When I love - I love with my whole heart and when I lose that love my whole heart breaks.
Its a strong muscle and has endured physical and emotional abuse for over 30 years...at what point will it just stop being subjected to the painful situations I put it in?
Maybe because, maybe, maybe just one day the pain will be a distant memory and love will be all that lives there.
One day....
The dreamer in me is still hopeful....
The realist knows that this is the last time I will subject myself to the pain that love has done to me.
Mediocricy
Its safe and enough....I have lived and known many types of loves and experienced loves that some can never even imagine...and for that -- I am done going in search for the one thing that can destroy my existence.
I am ok that we are done...I have to be because I can never feel like this again...although it was good to feel so alive - -the depression is too much to bear ever again.
He had that love and when he died he took it with him...and you walked in and he poured that love back into me to share with you .....
Why?
It was all for nothing...fooled again.
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