Remember

My mean words are a defense mechanism and definitely not from a loving place because I feel detroyed.
I want you to be happy - and you said you want me to be happy...when I am with you I am happy...and since I cant be with you - my happiness is misery.
So you cant have what you want..my happiness and neither can I
Remember you are a beautiful heart, a beautiful soul and deserve amazing extraordinary things and I love you and want that for you - so please delete from your memory the mean things I say to you - because you are beautiful to me.
And this was whatever it was -- some day we will know.

Love you beautiful man.
Always.