Fight Against Vulnerability

You turn from me and tell me you have to leave
And my tongue lashes out like a recently sharpened saber and I stab into your weary heart
As the blood drips off of the tip of the blade I lick it off to taste your pain
I know your pain , I feel your pain,  because everytime you leave... I feel the same

I look back with glazed eyes and only can see the walls in front of me...your face there is no trace
I did it again, my ego threw up these walls instead of showing the vulnerable state I slid into - as you said you had to go
My heart withered up like a grape in the desert sun and I felt this hollowing in my stomach as I felt like throwing up your words...and rebuke them from being my reality.

The good byes are harder and the distance away becomes my demise
So I defend against the sadness with evil ways as to never feel so vulnerable again

The day we met a part of my heart opened like the sun shining through the clouds after a rainy day
The rays of light shine through the holes that were left behind from years of punctured promises

That feeling of warmth is one that I want to smother and keep all to myself as my own secret shelter for no one to see....and when you leave I know you are not mine, not mine alone and I cry.