It was slightly overcast and the wind was blowing pretty hard this April morning. It had been about eight years since they last spoke and they decided through social media that they would meet for coffee this Friday the 13th. She heard from him about a week prior Easter morning through a friend request and was a little surprised that he even sought her out after their last encounter. Their past was a little dark and murky and the one thing she remembered from years back is how he just stopped answering her calls after one evening in 2004.
She loaded up her 2 ½ year old son in his car seat, with his beanie over his ears and jacket and headed over to the coffee shop. She ordered her regular double shot Americano with cream and he requested she order a white chocolate mocha which she found to be a little feminine, but obliged his request.
She drove to the park where they decided to meet and as she parked she saw what she thought was his work truck, she pulled in heart racing, checked herself in the mirror and stepped out of the car with confidence, knowing who she had become is someone she could be proud. She exited the car and bent over to take her son out of the car seat, hoping her tight jeans made him a little reminiscent and slightly regretful for walking away from what could have been his.
She introduced her son to her “friend” who happened to have the same name as he, which was only coincidence, as her husband chose his name, from a lost bet, however, her friends ego thought somehow she had given the boy his name because of him.
They embraced as the boy ran through the playground, they tried to keep up and carry a conversation and catch up on all the years past.
They both talked about the loss of their true love, her boyfriend of many years and his very best friend. recalling the funeral and the days following his death. That was a short time twelve years prior that they spent about a week non-stop together to comfort one another and separate. They talked about the four years following that they reconnected and the short lived love affair, he remembered everything she only remembered two nights. The night they had a passionate sexual encounter and the time she called him and he never called back. He however, remembers the story differently, he remembered feeling scared for the love he had for his deceased best friends’ girl and escaping by never returning her calls.
But the past has a way of finding us , it always does.
They both talked about how they had wed and talked about timing of the vows. Coincidentally it seems that they both got serious with their now spouse following their brief “relationship”. From each other to their now “forever”, no others in between. She had a 2 ½ year old son and he had married into a pre-made family of three girls, none of his own. She talked of her job, he still worked in the Union and his wife was a stay at home mother who took care of their 3 children, custom home and three dogs, seemed almost like a 1950s set up that she was never afforded such an opportunity.
An hour or so had passed, the wind picked up and her son becoming restless requesting more attention and conversations were cut short, too short and the coffee date wrapped up too soon. They talked about a lunch date and getting the spouses and children together , even talked about going to his custom cabin in the Colorado Mountains , only a short drive away. Imagining the reconnection of this friendship could build into something that they knew needed to be because their bond was much deeper than twelve years ago or even the brief relationship 8 years prior, it was almost like a knowing that this time around it needed to be more, more like a sustainable relationship, pure friendship like next door neighbors who shared in holiday functions, birthday parties and barbecues. Lunch was scheduled for the next week and they left both got in their vehicles and waved good-bye.
She sat in the drivers seat and her heart started to pound, her hands shaking and her mind racing from here to their reanalyzing everything said. What was said, there was more she needed to say, more she needed to hear, something isnt right. She barely pulled out of the parking lot and looked at her phone, and dialed his number, she even thought it such an odd reaction, but called without thinking and he answered the phone.
“Hi Glenn, whats up?”, “I know we just left but I just had to tell you I feel weird, do you feel weird?” , he pulled over his truck and paused and said “Well, actually yes, I feel like my heart just filled up, it is fuller than it has been in eight years” , she was taken a back, and she said “I feel like something is missing, I feel empty or something”, “that’s because you are a giver, you filled me up”. “Ok, well, ok, uh it was great to see you, we will get together next week when you get back from Colorado and do lunch”, “Ok Carina, I will call you when I get back in town”. Carina hung up the phone, she felt something she could not identify, she tried to stop thinking about him and just wait until lunch and hopefully whatever closure she needed or this feeling would go away, maybe it was nerves. She drove to the post office with her son Glenn and started her weekend early.
The weekend passed and she really hadn’t thought much about the visit, only momentarily after her first glass of wine that Friday night, and after that her weekend was the typical family weekend, barbecue , grocery shooping, laundry, mommy daddy and baby Glenn time and relaxation.
Monday morning after her morning shower, breakfast, getting Glenn ready for Granny and Pappy’s house ...
