Strengthened by the constant beating and torture, I barely feel it anymore.
I am as strong as I thought I was and will be able to withstand the current crumbling of my heart
I have no hate for you - however, I feel too close to love you .
As it is the one thing that has brought me to this place of sadness...and in love I do not want pain, that is the last thing I should be feeling....as if it was returned I can bare the distance, but loving alone I can no longer subject myself to the waiting to be loved.
I am lovable and shouldnt have to beg anyone to want to be a part of my beautiful life.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Imprisoned Heart
This is my place of refuge to free my thoughts imprisoning my heart
I long to be free of your memory and only time can fade away what I believed to be so grand
So easily you have trampled my words gestures and love
I'm not sure even time can undo what you have done to me once again
Believing you loved me more than anything in the world
To be so blinded by simple courtesy at times of your convenience
I've been stifled duped made a fool
Love is what I have felt but unrequited is sadness itself
I will be free in time remembering how you never really cared
It was just a day but a day that celebrates my life
No call no words no moment for you to spare and say I'm glad you're alive ...happy birthday
Broke my heart to see that I was not worth a second thought
Forgiveness is giving up hope that the past could be any different
I need to forgive you because the past couldn't be any different
The love you stated was nothing but words your actions have shown me repeatedly that I loved alone
A pint can never fill a gallon and with you I have been left empty
You have destroyed my faith in magic but I will regain faith again in time
Once these chains of deceit break away and I'll be glad that I didn't take a leap of faith
Because I have already jumped and hanging on a branch and I need to climb out before I fall further to my demise.
I long to be free of your memory and only time can fade away what I believed to be so grand
So easily you have trampled my words gestures and love
I'm not sure even time can undo what you have done to me once again
Believing you loved me more than anything in the world
To be so blinded by simple courtesy at times of your convenience
I've been stifled duped made a fool
Love is what I have felt but unrequited is sadness itself
I will be free in time remembering how you never really cared
It was just a day but a day that celebrates my life
No call no words no moment for you to spare and say I'm glad you're alive ...happy birthday
Broke my heart to see that I was not worth a second thought
Forgiveness is giving up hope that the past could be any different
I need to forgive you because the past couldn't be any different
The love you stated was nothing but words your actions have shown me repeatedly that I loved alone
A pint can never fill a gallon and with you I have been left empty
You have destroyed my faith in magic but I will regain faith again in time
Once these chains of deceit break away and I'll be glad that I didn't take a leap of faith
Because I have already jumped and hanging on a branch and I need to climb out before I fall further to my demise.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Prayer for Peace
God protect my heart quiet my restless mind
Surround me with light and love in my troubled time
Show in me the greatness in this circumstantial sadness
Free my melancholy soul that it saves me from madness
I know God you have a plan and that with every encounter we should learn
Although I may not understand it now I know the tide will turn
May your glory and tidal wave wash over me so deep
That in this time of confusion I'll find peace and sleep
Love me as I should love myself teach me how to be that love and light
That I will not struggle any longer in this beautiful life
Surround me with light and love in my troubled time
Show in me the greatness in this circumstantial sadness
Free my melancholy soul that it saves me from madness
I know God you have a plan and that with every encounter we should learn
Although I may not understand it now I know the tide will turn
May your glory and tidal wave wash over me so deep
That in this time of confusion I'll find peace and sleep
Love me as I should love myself teach me how to be that love and light
That I will not struggle any longer in this beautiful life
Love
I've been tricked cheated lied and fooled
This life I've seen has been at times too cruel
However i know that in it all.., all the shame
I will rise above and grow from my pain
I've survived many heartbreaks and accomplished many things
And in all that has hurt me I can't lose sight of my dreams
I still believe in magic in extraordinary everyday
Will not be bitter or jaded by the things you say
Hate me hurt me ignore me and flee
But I stand by my instincts that love will set me free
Free us from worry pain or restraints
Love is a healer of many complaints
So I continue to believe that loves the only way to great
It will conquer all and is inedibly my fate
This life I've seen has been at times too cruel
However i know that in it all.., all the shame
I will rise above and grow from my pain
I've survived many heartbreaks and accomplished many things
And in all that has hurt me I can't lose sight of my dreams
I still believe in magic in extraordinary everyday
Will not be bitter or jaded by the things you say
Hate me hurt me ignore me and flee
But I stand by my instincts that love will set me free
Free us from worry pain or restraints
Love is a healer of many complaints
So I continue to believe that loves the only way to great
It will conquer all and is inedibly my fate
Lonely love
Calling in the clean up crew...hazmat suit required my poisoned heart needs special care after being fed poisonous lies.
Sweeping up the burnt parts of my soul from the from the destruction of what I thought was love
Lucky I don't just play a doctor on tv I have the power within me to mend every wound from within
And today I start after gathering all the broken pieces of my being ... One by on piece by piece I grow ever more beautiful, the pain I have felt and the years I have cried has opened up strength I didn't even know I had
God has shown me in this path of lonely love that I can love and lose and learn from it ...
although it doesn't all make sense now
The epiphany is teetering and will fall into me
And I will be thankful to you someday even though now I am hurt beyond words.
Sweeping up the burnt parts of my soul from the from the destruction of what I thought was love
Lucky I don't just play a doctor on tv I have the power within me to mend every wound from within
And today I start after gathering all the broken pieces of my being ... One by on piece by piece I grow ever more beautiful, the pain I have felt and the years I have cried has opened up strength I didn't even know I had
God has shown me in this path of lonely love that I can love and lose and learn from it ...
although it doesn't all make sense now
The epiphany is teetering and will fall into me
And I will be thankful to you someday even though now I am hurt beyond words.
Unbelievable you are
When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. It took me over 9 years to really get it... After yesterday and everyone that knows our situation including your best friends dad said even as a friend you take time to say happy birthday. That's totally messed up
And you make no time for a friend for a " love" well not this love I guess the one you married but not me as it should be. I'm just mad at myself for believing your mouth of lies. Lies lies lies.... You are a piece of work
You don't deserve any more of my words. You couldnt take time to say 2 simple words. I'm disgusted.
When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. It took me over 9 years to really get it... After yesterday and everyone that knows our situation including your best friends dad said even as a friend you take time to say happy birthday. That's totally messed up
And you make no time for a friend for a " love" well not this love I guess the one you married but not me as it should be. I'm just mad at myself for believing your mouth of lies. Lies lies lies.... You are a piece of work
You don't deserve any more of my words. You couldnt take time to say 2 simple words. I'm disgusted.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
It would have taken you 60 seconds at the most to send me a text come on here and wish me a happy birthday! You have shown me who you are and I have given you the benefit of the doubt too many times. This time I believe you. I believe that I am not a priority to you and I believe now that you don't care if you hurt me and care if you make me happy with a simple gesture. You are selfish and I sorry that I ever believed differently. Really nice of you. You've been away from home for many days. You liked a Facebook birthday status so I know you had time for fb but not time for me not even a minute. You definitely shown me the choice you made and you are not even worth my words any more or even my kindest thoughts. You really are a character beyond words thank you for showing me who you really are before I made the biggest mistake of my life
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