It's taking everything I can not to say the words I hate you
My heart is sick I feel Like a fool so when I say I hate you I am really hating myself
I was vulnerable this week with you and I should have been strong
I wish I was on vacation and not sitting here thinking of you or what I thought we could be
Your eyes had no love in them for me yesterday
That's not the last look I want to remember but maybe that was Gods way of letting me know what this really was
Nothing
A lesson learned my heart is burned I'm. Scorched to ashes in my soul
I hate myself for loving you
Such a big mistake this pain feels like more than I can carry right now
I feel destroyed and sickened
I hate me therefore I hate you because you are the part of me which shows my weakness
I want to die right now
But this too shall pass
Maybe you don't live inside of me because if you did you would feel all of this and would come to save me
You never intended to then now or ever
I guess real love would wish you the best and so I'll lie to you
I want you to be happy even if it's not with me but that's all a lie because right now I want you to feel the suffering I'm enduring right now
But you are with the one you chose your life is well on the way to greatness love surrounds you and in time I will be ok and be happy I pray
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Saturday, March 9, 2013
You are next to me and I'm living this life of what ifs
Your pictures your couch your home you share with her
And I sit next to you
Our toes I intertwined like a perfectly knit blanket
But I am the blanket you put away she is the blanket in which you lay
I know it's just the way
And when I leave I cannot stay
But somehow I believe someday
You'll choose me for your everyday
I can believe In dreams and so I pray
You never want me to go away
Lovely words a game we play
In all this world we just betray
Your pictures your couch your home you share with her
And I sit next to you
Our toes I intertwined like a perfectly knit blanket
But I am the blanket you put away she is the blanket in which you lay
I know it's just the way
And when I leave I cannot stay
But somehow I believe someday
You'll choose me for your everyday
I can believe In dreams and so I pray
You never want me to go away
Lovely words a game we play
In all this world we just betray
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Relationship Questions
Ask yourself and maybe you can find answers inside to your current relationship...
Questions to ask yourself
1. Do I have physical attraction for my partner – if not how does that make me feel that the chemistry isnt there? (what inititally drew me to my partner, what keeps me there?)
2. Does my attachment to her money/his caretaking/ my fear being alone/ our friendship /common goals/does my partner serve my spiritual growth/ what do I get / what am I sacrificing/ is it worth it? From my part do I remain in the relationship out of fear or is there a genuine love? Which is the over riding force?
Are you coming from fear or love in this relationship
If you are coming from fear – (negativity – (I love this person/ our paths have changed and we are staying together because of fear rather than solid commitment and genuine love that is not a reason to stay)
Break thru the barriers and rise from fear.
PC - That Magic Moment (old but worth reading again)
And then he told us:
We have to take risks.
We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself.
Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy.
Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant.
It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. This moment exists – a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles.
Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith.
Poor are those who are afraid of taking risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue.
But when they look back – for we always look back – they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it. So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.”
Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed.
We have to take risks.
We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself.
Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy.
Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant.
It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. This moment exists – a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles.
Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith.
Poor are those who are afraid of taking risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue.
But when they look back – for we always look back – they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it. So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.”
Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed.
Paulo (note)
"We can so easily flee from everything that we desire and which life do get oust places before us. Alternatively we can surrender ourselves to Divine Providence, take Gods hand, and fight for our dreams, believing that they always arrive at the right moment."
Why else would we have arrived at the same place at that precise moment that windy April morning......how can we ignore all the signs?
Why else would we have arrived at the same place at that precise moment that windy April morning......how can we ignore all the signs?
Divine (June)
you said something so true - when you looked at me with heart shaped eyes.you said "ts like poetry" and you know what - it is.
our life together is an array of poetic creations, of signs and arrows pointing us in the direction of love
Ultimate love - absolute love - love beyond words and infinite is not even close to the description we carry with in.
Our hearts intertwine again as they have lifetimes ago - and we fit togeher like best friend necklaces - hearts put back together - in a chaos so perfect for our yearning souls to feel alive again and we embrace it because we know, we feel it...the truth beyond our bodies embrace...it is the truth spoken in the gaze of our eyes that see beyond whats in front of us - but into the depths of the souls embrace we feel together. Divine energy pure and written as it should be.
“Life sometimes separates people so that they can realize how much they mean to each other.”
our life together is an array of poetic creations, of signs and arrows pointing us in the direction of love
Ultimate love - absolute love - love beyond words and infinite is not even close to the description we carry with in.
Our hearts intertwine again as they have lifetimes ago - and we fit togeher like best friend necklaces - hearts put back together - in a chaos so perfect for our yearning souls to feel alive again and we embrace it because we know, we feel it...the truth beyond our bodies embrace...it is the truth spoken in the gaze of our eyes that see beyond whats in front of us - but into the depths of the souls embrace we feel together. Divine energy pure and written as it should be.
“Life sometimes separates people so that they can realize how much they mean to each other.”
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