Please reply

I need my vitamin and I got that response I am sick to my stomach. Are you telling me you love me as a friend your not ok with us.., and i need to respect you and your family but you will always love me. Every time I try to make a plan for us to see each other or work out details you always say I don't know or I am not sure I can't think that far ahead makes me feel like its not important to you I am not important to you. Please fill me up I am but a body with an empty soul my heart feel like it is being ripped from my chest. I texted you and told you I miss your loving words and compliments and heart filled eyes that bring life to me and the response I got was that I am selfish in other words and need to think about others. And I am up alone right now reaching for any sense of reason of this affair. Any sense of if your love for me is real or if you are only saying u love me to save your life so that I don't ruin it if you break my heart. No matter how crazy I get that's one thing I know and you can be sure of I am not going to go boil your chickens okay? So please call me tomorrow... Text me blog me tell me what's happening here. Like I said a million times I just want you to be able to commit to me for when you return. I need some reassurance I am need your love... But if it is not true and it is not real but only a cover do that I don't go "psycho" then just fucking tell me now. I am only waiting to be with you when u return and if you have no intention to carry it out please just tell me something. The I don't knows and the lack of enthusiasm hurts.

When in doubt whip it out I need more than anything for you to whip it out love love love.... Do u have it or is that just a distant memory?

Fuck I miss you and quality time with you..

What?

I think your last reply was telling me off.,, you said you are sure u are making me a better person? What do u mean that u are not making me a better person. It's 2 an and I can't sleep again with u on my mind. You want me out of your life for good or are you going to make it happen when you get back? FYI the reason I texted that to u ws because online I can only send a certainount of characters and I needed to say hthose things. You say you love me but what does that mean
to you when I am thirsty and get a response after pouring my heart out to u and I am being told I am disrespectful. I can't win here I am not enuf for you don't fool me just let me go if you know you won't be with me in 2 weeks it's the only life line I am
Holding into at this point if you aren't in It please tells now I can hardly stand the waiting if it's only disappointment. I love you and a little part of me dies everyday we are apart

PDFAM

Please don't forget about me and may your heart guide you back to me very soon..I miss you loving me your compliments your kind words the life you breathe into me and it. Seems lately I have been not seeing or feeling what I remember your souls light to shine in me and seems the break may be the only way I I will be able to know truly if you are as in love as you profess to me... You'll return as planned if so and so I need to let you free for now.... Ilyfe

I want to hibernate until all my sadness is buried so deep that I feel nothing.

Sad without you... Sad in the not knowing..waiting for you to return and save me for. This limbo. I am dreaming of the days n nights I can lay with you in your arms and only hope that you are feeling the need and desire to be with me the love you say is deeper than any you have known before. While waiting for u I wonder if you miss me half as much as I do you. I wonder if I went away would you notice?

(side note: no because when I leave you assume -  I will return -- and believe that I will keep giving - I am drained - My love is not a joke - so stop laughing when you take my heart and stab it and watch it bleed)

Has it lost its meaning...

I share  it all - I put it all out here?
Do you care to read all of these things?
Have they lost their meaning and because I give it so freely?
I just wonder if any of this is of any substance to you -- and if I should continue sharing..
You havent replied much and it looks like you only read a little here or there.
I miss your voice, your texts, the lovely things you use to say before...I loved your love notes and miss them.
So often how something beautiful from your heart and soul can change my day.
I hate this distance.
I hate this longing.
I love you across the miles and can hardly feel your love in this space between...and I am grasping for anything to save my world.

I love you ...

(side note: no it means nothing...it lost its meaning...as I have lost my need to show you a love you take for granted)

All out here

Its all out here for the world to see - but I only want you to see it and appreciate it read it, feel it, love it...respond.

You are probably too tired...and I am too open.

Miss you